I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
