I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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