I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
