It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
