i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
