it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
