brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
