Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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