i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
