I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Randomize
