I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she told me i tasted like america
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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