Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
