So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
