your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
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