i need an iv and a liver transplant
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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