My friends, they love my intelligence
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
