The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
