a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize