I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
