but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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