I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
only you would photoshop your dick
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
