I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize