I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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