My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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