ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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