I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
my nose is crying tears of wow.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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