is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I need a burrito and a hug.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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