Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
