could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
