Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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