At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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