i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
