I love black thongs
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm always down for nudity.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
