will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
