ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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