I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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