True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Randomize
