Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I love having hate sex.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
