I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
