Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
