imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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