so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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