Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
