This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
