you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
