so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
