I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
