I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
