I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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