thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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