And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
