It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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