so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
