Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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