He is like the real live version of the state fair..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
