i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
