dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
