You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
